I was talking to my roommate today about a constant dilemma that I have with guys.
A guy will start to hang out with me, everything will be going well, and then a few weeks into it things change. The guy will start to get more distant and not make much of an effort anymore, while I continue to make an effort. Eventually, I will assume things just fizzled out and move on.
My roommate told me that my problem is that I’m too nice and it scares guys away.. Which doesn’t really make much sense to me.
I have a ton of guy friends who complain that girls are so mean to them and treat them like dirt. My best guy friend had a girl he was seeing run off into his best friend’s bed. A boy I was dating over the summer told me his former girlfriend treated him badly and basically just used him for his bank account. The list could really go on, but to sum it up: some girls really aren’t that nice to guys.
I am definitely not a perfect girlfriend – everyone has flaws. I tend to get suspicious very easily and I can be extremely anal about organization and punctuality (when I’m the girl who’s always five minutes late for everything ever). See? Not perfect. I will say though, that when I’m in a relationship, I spoil my significant other rotten. I love baking sweets, randomly picking up a book or movie they would like, cooking their favorite thing for dinner, bringing them breakfast in bed. I genuinely love making people I care about happy.
When I told my roommate that I liked doing all the nice things mentioned above, he said they’re my worst enemy and that I should try to be a little less nice to guys. I’m not entirely sure that I believe it when again, I constantly hear that all guys want is a nice girl. But at the same time, I’m still single. Been that way for almost two years. I have to wonder if maybe that is the cause of why guys run off so quickly. I’m definitely not the person who’s going to show up on a guy’s doorstep with a tin of brownies on the first, second, or even third date. I do these nice things for a guy I’ve been on more than a few dates with and I really like them.
The thing that really gets me about this is that when I am standoffish with a guy or bitchy towards them, they get upset. I was brutally honest with a guy that I went on a few dates with and just flat out said I wasn’t that into it and I hoped we could be friends. Well, a twelve paragraph Facebook message later claimed that I was the most “selfish” and “immature” girl he ever met and that I wouldn’t know a good guy if he was standing right in front of me.
So honestly, what do guys want?
Do they want the nice girl they can bring home to mom?
Or do they want the bitchy girl who doesn’t give them the time of day?